this summer

Gah, it's finally time for me to break down and write a post on what my summer was like. I'll start out by saying, this post won't do it justice, nor will any explanation I can give, this experience is hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been through it themselves.

This summer I went through a week and a half of camp counselor orientation, which consisted of ice-breakers, child behavioral psychology lectures, and team building activities.

Four two-week sessions taking care of girls. Sessions I and IV were eleven year olds, sessions II and III were fourteen year olds. Each age group presented their own set of challenges. Ok, I won't fluff it up, the fourteen year olds were fine, the eleven year olds were a huge pain in the ass.

This summer I hiked an average of three miles a day with my trombone on my back. I developed a huge sweet tooth and an affinity for smores and cheesy crackers with peanut butter. I kicked the drinking, the smoking, the cell phone, the tv and the computer. I learned how warm and amazing other people can be, and that people at school can be cold and carry a lot of pretense. I jammed with the jazz faculty, and played in some mediocre ensembles with other counselors. I became a morning person, and would be on the beach by 8 am with my cup of coffee. I practiced trombone outside every day. I colored care bears pictures, read, and wrote letters in my free time. I found love.......

I found passionate, totally requited, don't-hold-back love. I found love-scene motion picture sound track love. I found "he really is that into you" love. I found change-your-life-forever love. I found love that electrifies your entire body. I found love that makes one want to burst over with emotion like a volcano.

I was intrigued the day I met him, and was smitten within a week. And here's the thing: after all the weird, screwup relationships I've been in, one doesn't expect feelings to be reciprocated. But he was smitten too. I could never explain all the fun we had, all the experiences we've shared. There may never be another chapter, as we are now seperated by three time zones. Which absolutely kills me. But regardless of what the future holds, the most important thing is that now I know what true love is. I know what it feels like to be in love, and to be loved, and I know that all things that came before were an illusion. I've never felt this way about anyone. ever.

Although I have only been gone for two months, they say that you can't go home again, and I believe that it's true. Although, I'm sure, Cincinnati has remained the same, I have changed too much. I was so excited and longed for the craziness of clifton all summer, but now that the day draws near, I feel a lot of apprehension.