What a girl wants, what a girl needs

I passed my board, and played very well by my own standards for the Disney audition. Keep in mind I had to pump myself full of beta blockers for both events.
Their use for performers is controversial, but I have mild anxiety issues to begin with, and they become almost unmanageable when I have to play for people. My performance anxiety completely impairs my ability to even breathe, much less play with any sort of expression. I've only put up with it for this long because I never knew anything else. I thought it was ok for my knees to knock together as I was trying to play a solo for judges. Beta blockers have been a life changing discovery for me.
Now I just cross my fingers and hope I played better than everyone else.

Falling behind on my next big band chart, as well as an impending history paper. I blame it on the fact that I am finally getting gigs. I knew it would happen eventually.

Story: I subbed for the Dayton Jazz Orchestra back in January, and the lead trombonist, Vaughn, made fun of me a lot. Apparently he is notorious for this. In a twist of ill fate, he has come down with Bell's palsy. I feel very bad for him, but I got his gig until he recovers, which could be an indefinite amount of time(Vaughn says, "What?! A girl jazz musician? What is this? Arts and crafts?"). Steady gig, pays a little bit, good band. I can't help but smile, as my facial muscles are working (sorry that was mean!).

Gig with Dan and Jake at Kaldi's on Wednesday, March 1st. Baby steps, I'm winning the small battles.

Still studying with Jaime on the weekends, on a fairly regular basis now. He says, "You are getting much better. I don't yell at you because you are sucky player, I yell at you because I expect more of you than this."

Last night Cha and I went to a mexican restaurant in Colerain where I had very good chips and salsa and a very watery taco salad. Cha tried flan and didn't like it, so I ate her flan. Then we went back to her place to watch "Guys Gone Wild". It was more amusing than anything else. I'm not interested in seeing guys who are only tan from the waist down shake their pale, flabby butts or itty bitty boy parts around. I wanna see cowboys and fireman. We got bored and watched a documentary on a county coroner, followed by the Nutty Professer. Mmmmmm... 90's goodness.